


Together By Fate

by triste



Category: Bleach
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-21
Updated: 2012-11-21
Packaged: 2017-11-19 05:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/569522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isshin and Ryuuken have a most excellent adventure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together By Fate

Title: Together By Fate  
Author: Triste  
Fandom: Bleach  
Pairing: Isshin/Ryuuken  
Rating: PG  
Status: Complete  
Disclaimer: Not mine

~~

Ishida Ryuuken had been to countless medical conferences over the years, some good, some bad. The one he'd attended earlier that afternoon most definitely counted as bad, not because of the conference itself, but because of the idiot Ryuuken had found himself landed with once it was over.

He'd only just finished packing away his notes with the intention of disappearing before he found himself being forced to exchange banal pleasantries with his fellow workers, when a rather loud voice caught his attention. It wasn't a voice that Ryuuken recognised, and when the speaker finally came close enough for him to see properly, the face wasn't one that he'd seen before, either.

"Do I know you?" he asked in a bored sort of voice as a tall, dark-haired man approached him.

"Silly me. Here I am calling for you and I haven't even introduced myself yet. Anyway, I'm Kurosaki Isshin, and I'm guessing that you must be Uryuu-kun's father!"

Ryuuken's eyes narrowed immediately. "You know Uryuu? What has that boy done now?"

"He hasn't done anything wrong," Isshin reassured him quickly. "He's just very close to my own son!"

"Really? How close?"

"Oh, they've only been sleeping together for the past four months."

Ryuuken's eyes narrowed even further. "If this is your idea of a joke..."

"It's not a joke! They really *are* close!" Isshin paused and blinked. "You mean Uryuu-kun hasn't told you?"

"Uryuu tells me nothing," Ryuuken said coldly. "It's been almost five years since we last spoke."

"Well, at least you know now!" Isshin said brightly. "But don't worry. I gave them both a fatherly lecture on the benefits of safe sex, and I think they took it to heart."

"You think?"

"Well, Ichigo smashed a rice bowl over my head before I could finish my big talk, but I assume most of what I said sank in."

"I thought you said you had a son?"

"I do! I know that Ichigo is usually a girl's name, but if you change the way that it's written, it can also be a strong and masculine one! Instead of being the name of a fruit, it becomes 'one who protects'. Isn't that great?"

"Delightful. So how does this... Ichigo know Uryuu?"

"They go to the same school, of course! Uryuu-kun spends a lot of time at our house these days. Not that I can blame him. Those raging teenage hormones are difficult to satisfy!"

Ryuuken twitched. "You actually permit them to indulge in those sort of things under your own roof?"

"Of course I do!" Isshin beamed widely and began digging around in his pocket. "I even have pictures here somewhere..."

A horrified expression stole over Ryuuken's face and he actually took a step backwards in shock. "You have *photographs*? What kind of sick human being *are* you?!"

Isshin looked confused for a second, then burst into laughter. "It isn't anything like *that*! I was just going to show you the photos from when Uryuu-kun decided to play dress-up a couple of weeks ago. He borrowed my lab coat and stethoscope, while Ichigo wore the adorable little nurse's uniform that Uryuu-kun made for him. He wanted me to take pictures, and who was I to say no?"

"I see. And does your son often wear women's clothing, Kurosaki-san?"

"Call me Isshin. And no, Ichigo only wears those things when Uryuu-kun forces him to. It's so cute to see the two of them screaming at each other! They're just like a proper couple! I do regret lending Uryuu-kun my stethoscope, though. Ichigo almost strangled him to death with it. That boy doesn't even know his own strength. I have pictures of that, too, if you'd like to see?"

"I'd rather not, thank you."

"Are you sure? They're really funny. You could at least see what Ichigo looks like, though. He takes after his beautiful mother more than me, and he has the face of an angel!"

Ryuuken fought the urge to blanch when Isshin handed him a picture of his scowling son. The only angel Ichigo resembled was a Hell's Angel, and Ryuuken wasn't sure that he liked the idea of Uryuu associating with such a delinquent.

"Well, it's been... lovely to speak with you, but I've had a long day and I'd prefer to book myself into a hotel before it gets too late. Goodbye, Kurosaki Isshin."

"Oh, you don't have to find a hotel! Spend the night at my house instead! Uryuu-kun will probably be there. I'm sure he'd love to see you!"

"Somehow, I doubt that. If he knew that I'd be coming here for business, he probably would have left town to avoid me."

"Then we must fix your terrible relationship before things get any worse!"

Ryuuken frowned. "'We'? What 'we'?"

"You and me, of course!" Isshin threw an arm around Ryuuken's shoulders, either ignoring or completely missing the way Ryuuken tensed up. "If you and Uryuu-kun don't see eye-to-eye with each other, now is the time to change all of that! I'll help out with whatever I can, so feel free to stay at my house for as long as you like!"

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm afraid I must decline," Ryuuken told him, gingerly shrugging Isshin's arm away as though it was poisonous. "Besides, I wouldn't want to trouble you."

"It's no trouble at all!" Isshin said happily. "Just think of it as a sleepover! We can have pillow fights and order take-out and watch pornographic videos all night long!"

Ryuuken looked nauseated. "I'd really rather not..."

"Okay then, so we won't watch any porn. We can still eat take-out, though! Or I could get my darling little daughter to make us something nice. Nothing but the best for my new special friend!" Isshin looked confused all of a sudden. "Um... what did you say your name was again?"

"Ryuuken. Ishida Ryuuken. And I am *not* your friend."

Isshin was crestfallen. "You're not?"

"No, I'm not." Ryuuken glared at him for emphasis, but Isshin was quick to bounce back.

"Actually, you have a point. Two men can't just meet out of the blue and become friendly for no reason whatsoever. We must go to dinner and learn everything there is to know about each other!"

"I don't want to go to dinner with you. I don't even want to listen to you anymore. Please leave before you annoy me any further."

"That's not very nice. You're pushing me away before I can even get a chance to know you!"

"I don't want you to know me! I want you to go away!"

A light bulb suddenly went off over Isshin's head. "Wait a second... could it be...?"

Ryuuken furrowed his brow irritably. "What on earth are you talking about now?"

"You don't have any friends!" Isshin said accusingly. "You treat everybody this way, even your son, and that's why you don't have anyone to eat meals or watch dirty movies with!"

"How *dare* you make such an accusation?" Ryuuken stuttered indignantly. "Don't talk as if you know me when the only thing I've given out is my name!"

"I can tell, though," Isshin said, tapping the side of his nose. "Even though you're a doctor, you have very poor people skills. You're afraid of getting close to anyone, and that's why you're always so mean."

"That is none of your concern," Ryuuken told him stiffly. "I have my reasons for doing what I do."

"I know, I know," Isshin said sadly. "But not to worry! You can tell me your life story over dinner and I shall listen in a comforting and non-judgmental manner."

"I'm not telling you anything!" Ryuuken snapped. "Besides, I've already refused you once!"

"And I refuse your refusal!"

"I beg your pardon?"

"We're going to have a nice long talk over dinner, and then you're coming back to my house to see Uryuu-kun. Feel free to sob into my welcoming bosom any time you like."

"I think I'd rather die."

~~

In spite of his protests, Ryuuken found himself sitting grumpily in a restaurant less than fifteen minutes later while Isshin continued to babble on about his children. Ryuuken had been forced to look at photograph after photograph, and he'd had to listen to the various anecdotes that tended to accompany them. The more he came to learn about Isshin, the more he'd convinced himself that he was clinically insane. Attacking his son in his sleep... peeking at his daughters' underwear in public... getting arrested every single year during Hanami...

Surprisingly enough, Isshin's strange behaviour wasn't the most annoying thing about him. The sheer enthusiasm and zest for life that he possessed had begun to grate on Ryuuken's nerves, and the fact that Isshin seemed incapable of speaking in a normal tone of voice also irritated him.

In short, he was loud, uncouth and oblivious to everything except himself.

He certainly didn't seem to notice the funny looks that he'd been earning himself from the other customers, though Ryuuken cringed every time someone glanced their way in response to Isshin's whooping laughter.

To be fair, Isshin was also a very generous person, but not even a free meal had been enough to make Ryuuken like him. He'd only known the man for less than an hour, but already he'd had enough of his company to last a lifetime.

In the end, Ryuuken had taken the 'it'll go away if I ignore it' approach, but he'd soon learned that Isshin didn't need attention or even something as simple as eye contact. Isshin had latched onto him like a barnacle to a rock, and Ryuuken was starting to think that he'd never be rid of him.

The thought was depressing to say the least, and he picked at his food half-heartedly as Isshin finished talking about himself long enough to take a drink of his water.

"So what about you?" he asked as he placed his glass back down on the table, tucking into his meal with the gusto that Ryuuken sorely lacked. "Is there a reason why you haven't spoken to Uryuu-kun for so long?"

"He's a foolish child who continues to ignore my good advice," Ryuuken said blandly. "He feels that he has something to prove, while at the same time, he's blind to his faults and his failings. I've never known a more stubborn creature."

"It's sad, isn't it?" Isshin said knowingly. "Teenage rebellion, I mean. Once upon a time, Ichigo was a tiny, delicate little thing who would cry at the drop of a hat, but now he's a foul-mouthed delinquent who doesn't have any respect for his elders."

For the first time since their meeting, Ryuuken found himself agreeing with what Isshin was saying. "Well, Uryuu has always been sullen, so I imagine that hormones have only made his temperament worse."

"Hormones are beautiful and terrible things, especially in the body of a teenaged boy! Luckily, Ichigo and Uryuu-kun seem to have found an outlet for their frustrations. Ichigo has been far more pleasant to be around now that he's met your son! Uryuu-kun has tamed him wonderfully, and I couldn't be prouder!"

"You're *proud* of something like that?"

"Of course I am! Before Uryuu-kun came along, Ichigo was like a flighty filly that wouldn't let anybody go near him, but then he was conquered by Uryuu-kun, the mighty stallion, and true love prevailed! It was all very romantic. I just wish that I'd been there to capture the event on camera."

Isshin may have regretted it, but Ryuuken certainly didn't. He wasn’t sure if he ought to have been more disturbed by the fact that Isshin was so openly accepting of the relationship between their two sons, or that he'd just compared them both to wild horses.

"And obviously, I have to encourage Ichigo in anything that he does, which is why it's my duty as a father to cheer for him when he and Uryuu-kun are making love! I stand outside the door and shout that I'm right there behind him, and I tell him to do his very best! I'm sure Uryuu-kun would love to hear the same encouragement coming from you!"

"I will not be encouraging Uryuu in the slightest," Ryuuken said disapprovingly. "And I don't think I like the idea of letting him have so much free reign. I assume that his grades have been suffering as a result of his... new hobby?"

"Not at all!" Isshin replied cheerfully. "He even showed me his report card the other day. He gets A's in every subject, except for Physical Education. He's failing that one, but he doesn't seem too worried about it."

"Uryuu talks about his studies with you?"

"He talks to me about a lot of things! He's a very charming boy, you know. I love Ichigo with all my heart, but I'd gladly trade him in for Uryuu-kun, if you're interested!"

"You can have him. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Isshin looked taken-aback for a moment, and then for the first time since Ryuuken had met him, he actually appeared to be somewhat solemn. "You shouldn't joke about such a serious matter. Even if you don't get along with him all that well, Uryuu-kun is still your son."

"I appreciate your concern," Ryuuken said dryly. "But it really is a lost cause. Maybe Uryuu will come to his senses one day, but until then, I'll just have to give up on him."

Isshin was furious, and Ryuuken found himself almost frightened when the other man leapt out of his seat and glared down at him contemptuously. Ryuuken flinched when Isshin reached out for him, then cried out in shock when Isshin began giving him a noogie.

"Why'd you have to say stuff like that?!" Isshin demanded as he mussed up Ryuuken's hair. "Why do you just assume that because things have gone bad, you have no way of fixing them? Fatherly love is not like breast milk! It does not dry up in the absence of a hungry child! It will always be there to soothe and comfort your son, just like a mother's loving teat!"

"Um... excuse me? Sir?"

Isshin glanced over his shoulder at the timid-looking waiter who'd asked for his attention. "Yes?"

"You're disturbing the other customers, sir. If you continue to persist, I'll have no choice but to throw you out."

"Whoops! My bad!" Isshin gave a sheepish little wave and then sat back down in his seat. "Anyway, there's nothing to feel bad about, because I can help! If you'll permit it, I will teach you how to be a better father!"

Ryuuken blinked back at him dazedly. He still hadn't gotten over the shock of having someone give him a noogie just yet. "Teach me?"

"If that's what you want!" Isshin grinned broadly and gave him the thumbs-up sign. "I can tell you everything I know!"

"And this will make Uryuu listen to me?"

"Indeed it will! But first, we must drink!" Isshin filled Ryuuken's glass with sake and then raised his own in a toast. "To friendship and fatherly love!"

Ryuuken nodded and raised the glass to his lips automatically. He wondered when he'd be getting his senses back, but Isshin didn't seem too concerned. He merely downed the contents of his glass in three gulps before filling it up again immediately afterwards. "Keep up, Ryuuken!" he ordered. "You won't be a good father if you can't handle your drink!"

~~

When Ichigo called over at the clinic the next morning, he was mildly surprised to see that his father wasn't around.

"Hey, where's Oyaji?" he asked as he filched a slice of toast from the nearby stack that was lying on the table.

"He hasn't woken up yet," Yuzu said, slapping his hand and moving the plate away from his greedy fingers. "Those aren't yours! They belong to Karin-chan and Otou-san! If you can't even be bothered to sleep at home anymore, you won't be getting breakfast!"

"I crashed over at Ishida's place," Ichigo told her as he tried to sneak another piece of toast. "I had to come back here and grab a few books that I needed for school, and I didn't have time to eat before I left."

"You have only yourself to blame for that," Yuzu said in a hurt tone of voice. "I bet you and Uryuu Nii-san haven't even bothered to make up a boxed lunch, either!"

"Blame Ishida for that," Ichigo said dismissively. "He never has any food in his house for some strange reason."

"Then why did you stay over there in the first place?" asked Yuzu. "What was so important that you had to stay away from home and then go running late the next day, huh?"

"Grown-up stuff," Ichigo said, ruffling her hair. "You'll find out when you're older. But anyway, should I go wake the old man while I'm here?"

"Don't start jumping on his head because he overslept, Onii-chan," Yuzu warned. "Just shout him up, okay? I think he might be sick or something. He never usually dawdles like this. I'm getting kind of worried..."

It didn't take Ichigo long to reach his father's bedroom, and although Yuzu had told him not to attack him in his sleep, Ichigo had planned to at least punch him in the face for making Yuzu so upset.

He slid the door open carefully and peered inside, hoping that his father would still be asleep so that he'd have the chance to kick him into consciousness. Isshin was sleeping all right, but Ichigo was slightly puzzled when he noticed that he wasn't alone. The morning sunlight shone dimly through the parted curtains, illuminating the two figures on the bed.

Although the outline of his father was familiar, Ichigo had no idea who the man lying next to him was. They were tangled together in such a way that Ichigo couldn't even see his face, and the only thing that Ichigo could really make out was a sleep-matted muss of blond hair.

Ichigo continued to stare for a moment longer, then shut the door as silently as he'd opened it. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and then decided to try again, opening the door and praying that what he'd seen previously had been some sort of illusion.

He had no such luck.

Isshin had also begun to stir, and once he'd opened his eyes, he blinked over blearily at his son. "Ichigo? Is that you?"

Ichigo nodded. "Yeah, it's me. But, um... there's a naked guy in your bed. What's he doing there?"

Isshin looked bewildered for a second before brightening up considerably. "Oh, this is Ryuuken. I met him yesterday at a medical conference!"

"You still haven't told me what he's doing in your bed."

"That's right!" Isshin frowned suddenly. "But you know something? Even I'm not sure why he's here." Then he brightened again. "Guess what, Ichigo? Your old man got wasted last night! I drank more alcohol than I've ever had before in my entire life!"

"At least have the decency to be hung over like a normal person!" Ichigo snapped irritably.

"Now, now, don't be like that. We must find Uryuu-kun so that he and his father can have a most beautiful reunion!"

"If you're looking for Ishida, he's probably downstairs in the kitchen being force-fed by Yuzu. What does his dad have to do with it, anyway?"

"He's right here in my bed, silly boy!"

"You mean the naked guy?"

"One and the same!"

Ichigo's legs almost gave out on him and he had to grab the door handle for support. "But you wouldn't... I mean... you didn't... do *stuff*... did you?"

Isshin grinned wolfishly. "Are you implying that there was a night of frantic passion in which your daddy and Uryuu-kun's daddy made wild monkey love to each other?"

Ichigo looked disgusted. "On second thought, don't answer. I wouldn't want to lose what little breakfast I've eaten this morning."

"Don't worry, son! I can't remember if we had sex or not! I do remember taking a little trinket from the restaurant we went to, though." Isshin pointed over at the large crystal swan sitting in the corner of the room. "Isn't it nice?"

"What the... you mean to say that you *stole* that thing?! In broad daylight?!"

Isshin nodded proudly. "I swiped it while Ryuuken distracted the staff."

"But it looks as though it's worth a fortune!"

"I know! We were going to take it to a pawnshop and use the cash to buy more booze, but it was too sparkly to part with. So we kept it. If you shine a light onto it in just the right way, it even makes pretty rainbow colours!"

"I don't freaking *care*! Just take it back right now before you get in trouble!"

Ichigo hadn't realised how much he'd been raising his voice until the figure beside Isshin moved a little and raised its head.

"Where am I?" Ryuuken asked in a slurred sort of voice.

"You're at my house, remember?" Isshin slapped him heartily on the back. "I was just telling Ichigo about the excellent adventure that we had last night! But anyway, none of that matters right now, because Uryuu-kun is here! It's your big chance to put things right!" Ryuuken didn't even seem capable of sitting up on his own at the moment, but Isshin was more than happy to help him. "Anyway, bring Uryuu-kun, Ichigo! I'm sure he'd love to speak with his father again!"

Ichigo doubted that very much, considering the things he'd heard Ishida say in the past, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter when he heard the sound of footsteps in the hallway.

"Kurosaki, are you there? Yuzu-chan said that you were taking too long, so she sent me up to get you and..." Ishida trailed off when he peered around the door, and his face darkened considerably when he caught sight of Ryuuken. "What's going on? What is *he* doing here?"

"He's my new special friend!" Isshin replied cheerfully. "We may or may not have slept together last night, but we *did* steal a very expensive-looking crystal swan. You can have it if you like."

"It isn't yours to give away!" Ichigo snarled. "Besides, I told you to take that thing back before-"

Isshin held up a hand before he could finish his sentence. "Silence, boy! Ryuuken has something to say! Last night, I helped him come up with a proper apology to Uryuu-kun, so if you'll just give me a moment to find the paper that I wrote it on..." He fished his shirt from the floor and rummaged around in the pockets until he triumphantly pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, then smoothed it out and pressed it into Ryuuken's hand. "There you go. Just read it out loud and I promise that it'll fix everything."

Ryuuken squinted a little and raised the page until it was about half an inch away from his nose before he began to read what was written. "I am the egg man, they are the egg men, I am the walrus, goo goo g’joob."

There was a very heavy silence in the room for a moment until Isshin coughed and turned the paper over. "Sorry. That must have been from our karaoke session. But anyway, try again!"

"I don't even want to hear it," said Ishida, glaring at his father disdainfully before disappearing from the room.

"Um... I'd better go follow him," Ichigo said awkwardly. "We're going to be late for school..."

Isshin turned to Ryuuken with a shrug. "Well, then. Care for another drink?"

 

End.


End file.
